He changes the channel and so does his mood.

He watches the President speak evil and crude.

The words begin to alter the thoughts in his head.

She can’t help but wonder if she’s better off dead.

Is this normal?  They wonder

As he bends and he breaks

the spoons on the table and dinner table plates.

He huffs and he puffs like the wolf with the pigs,

and much like the tale the house shook and fell.

With no soul to see and maybe tell.

No one had a clue what happened within

the home with walls that were paper thin.

Silence echoes through the rooms,

as she prays to leave

the home without warmth,

and no happiness to conceive.




Wonder Woman Film Review

Call me a bandwagon all you want, I could not care less. Just recently I watched Wonder Woman and fell absolutely in love. Prior to the movie, I had no knowledge about the heroine, just that there was a show in the ’70’s. Well I am fool, I was missing out on my new favorite superhero of all time.

Now obvious reasons I loved the movie so much include the fact that Wonder Woman was such a strong female lead. I knew that with any Hollywood superhero movie there would have to be a love interest and I came in expecting the romance to take up most of the movie. Wrong. The movie had a nice amount of action, drama, romance, comedy. and even music to really highlight how special Diana was. The fight scenes didn’t get me dizzy because they were in slow motion. The dramatic scenes were reasonable and not cringey. The romantic scenes were sweet but not overbearing. And the music was perfect in describing the mood of a certain scene.

A second reason I loved the movie so much were because of the actors. I’m absolutely obsessed with Gal Gadot. She’s so gorgeous and perfect that I’m starting to think she is an actual goddess living amongst us lowly humans. Chris Pine is also so incredibly handsome with his tall, strong stature and his blue eyes. I mean the guy looks like a sweetheart in and out of the movie and if he weren’t 20 years older than me I would so-I digress. The last actor I will mention gets positive reviews from me, a Potterhead, because he’s none other than David Thewlis aka Remus Lupin. When I saw the man, I almost choked on my popcorn from gasping. I was so used to seeing him strong and healthy fighting for Harry, but in the movie he played a frail old man perfectly. He totally owned the role of Sir Patrick Morgan or Are.

The movie was full of activist messages which I loved so much too. The theme of love was a constantly popping up. My favorite moment was actually when Steve blows himself up and Diana loses it. Then she stands up (or was it flew) and starts talking about how love will always win. The quote goes like this “There’s a light and dark in all humans but that doesn’t matter. What matters is what you believe in and I believe in Love. ” Then afterwards Diana blew lots of stuff up which was pretty awesome.


I only really disliked the fact that Wonder Woman’s suit looked so stiff and tight on her. It looked so uncomfortable to move in especially with the sharp hems and hard shell. There are also parts of the movie where the slow motion was just plain unnecessary.  I mean it literally took a minute for her to kick a guy.

This was a pretty loose review of Wonder Woman. I may come back to revise and add more thoughts because I genuinely loved it.

Older and Still Clueless

I have this really bad habit of leaving a social media platform for a really long time and then coming back to it after a few years or so. I’m not kidding when I say years, I mean if you check my Tumblr, Twitter, or any of the other blogs I’ve created the time gaps are pretty big. When I do come back however, it always goes something like this, “Hey guys I’m back! I’ll try to post more from now on!” or “I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long but I’ll try to post more!!!!!! ” First off what a pretentious bitch am I thinking I have people who actually care that much. (Don’t worry I won’t do anything, I’m not that depressed ha.) I’ve learned my mistake and I’m going to be unapologetic.  No need to say sorry because there’s just no point.

So here I am, two years later older and still clueless. Looking back at my last post (which I am sorry about but also not sorry because I’m being unapologetic remember?)  nothing much has changed about my current emotional state. Granted, I am not crying or feeling too sad at the moment, there is still a certain neutrality of the state I am in. I am in the middle. I am not good or bad but I am fine. I mean that at any moment my life scale can lean towards one end and really change the mood. There’s the update on my emotional/internal state. Externally, I am doing slightly better. Since the last post I’ve joined a sport and lost some weight. Who knew right? I couldn’t believe it either. Running honestly changed my life a little bit as it helped me realize my body’s limits, helped me build connections, and given me a more persistent mindset.

As far as relationships go here’s my take on it:

Faith-On a scale of 1-100 1 being the weakest and 100 being the strongest I am at a 70,actually more like a 65.

Family- It’s so complicated and more questions just keep forming with no answers. What is good and what is bad? Does it make me a bad person if I feel/don’t feel a certain way? Why is it like this? Why, why, why?????????????

Friends- Loyalty, understanding, honesty, and kindness are all traits I wish I valued sooner in people. What was I thinking? Also, goodness I really fucking wish I could hang out.

World- Tensions among groups are starting to seep into family life and its effects are more negative than positive. I pray that all the mass deaths end soon.

That is all I can muster up in my return tonight and I hope you enjoy. This blog has kind of become an online diary. I’m too scared to keep a physical diary for many reasons such as my parents or siblings finding it or a fire may occur and I may lose everything. There is also the fact that I get really lazy writing and I type much faster.


Prospects on the Future

The future is terrifying. Especially when you’re one of those people who still have their “whole lives ahead of you”. I mean that phrase can mean anything. You could get caught up in the whole economic instability of the country you live in and end up on the streets, end up at death’s door by some unlucky circumstance, or you could by some stroke of luck be somewhat successful, own a house, meet someone, and start a family.

My friends, I feel, think that I am blowing this future business way out of proportion and sometimes I agree with them. But really ,when all you’ve grown up seeing are your parents being miserable working paycheck to paycheck just to put food on the table, buy us decent clothes, and to keep a roof over our heads it’s hard not to think about it. As a young girl I remember thinking about the future,what I’d be like in about 10 years. I wish I could tell myself, “Stick to being a kid. Trust me. Think about that stuff later on because believe me you’re missing out on so much thinking about this future business.” I mean look at me now.

I feel great remorse for those in high school and college/university. I mean one really bad slip up and your whole future could be devastated. The future, instead of being what’s to come, has become our lives if we’re being honest. Some work and study nonstop hoping that their “future” turns out well. Whatever happened to just living?

I am not mad at my parents or blaming them in any way, but I believe that they missed out on some my biggest stepping-stones during my early adolescent years. I never really had anyone to confide in because I was taught not to trust anybody and my parents were always working or too busy trying to give us a better future. Nonetheless however I am eternally grateful for all they are doing and are going to do. See, we are able to use that word in substitution for the word “life”.

I suppose you could say that my time to think about the future is already here. How do I get ready? What do I do? What should pick? When? Where? How? Can I? All these questions always hover over the future and all we can do it answer them one by one. We don’t have to answer all of them, but I’m pretty sure everybody answers a handful sooner or later. images

Wolves with Problems

Just today I watched a movie titled Tomorrowland. I watched the movie prepared to hate it but surprisingly I did the opposite and absolutely loved it. I mean sure George Swooney, oops, I mean George Clooney was in it and Britt Robertson, the ever so gorgeous girlfriend of my soulmate (Dylan O’brien), but they weren’t what stood out to me at least. The movie was very persistent in conveying a message of hope, self confidence, and a message that life moves forward for the better.

In the beginning of the movie Casey (Robertson) tells her father a tale that her once told her.

There are two wolves who are always fighting.
One is darkness and despair.
The other is light and hope.
The question is: which wolf wins?

The one you feed.

That struck me so hard I just about cried during that scene. I mean holy shit Disney, I think you just helped me solve about half of life’s problems. It’s kind of saddening to hear that this movie didn’t perform so well because in the world we live in today this is a message we need to spread. In a society with racism, terrorism, global warming, world hunger and  etc. people need to be encouraged to be different and excel in whatever they are good at.

I as a person do not judge people on their jobs (I mean unless you’re some mass murderer or something of that sort). I believe that everybody had a part in this world. Here’s how I see it: I always hear about how people degrade and dis McDonald’s workers or any fast-food chain worker but they never think about how without those fast-food chains people would fare without jobs, the economy would plummet, and we may lose the fattening yet delicious french fries. So no matter what job you have just do your best.

Man, I got a little off track there, but going back to the movie. Well halfway during the film is where it got kind of messy and in my opinion a little rushed. Frank (Clooney) just willingly went back with Casey and Athena (Cassidy), I mean a person who put a pretty stubborn front you’d think that he’d try a little harder. When they finally got back to a basically trashed Tomorrowland we meet Governor Nix. When I first heard Nix’s name by the way I thought the writers were secretly trying to symbolize President Nixon and his decision in the Vietnam war. In a way they kind of did when later on in the film Casey, Frank, and Athena find a way to stop the apocalyptic device created by Frank which could have been stopped had it not been because of Nix’s decision to have some metallic disk thingy up. There folks is where I got lost.

Nevertheless the movie ended on a good note despite the discovery made about Athena and Frank’s short lived, kinda creepy romance as children tragically leading up to Athena’s death. All was well in Tomorrowland everything was moving forward positively. Frank made more robotic, or should I say audio-animatronic recruiters, Casey told her dad (whom I later freaked out over because he was Tim McGraw) who was surprisingly cool about another world showing up in front of his garage. Everything was moving forward (wink, wink) and Casey and Frank were feeding the wolf of light and hope. imgres-1

Chicken Stuff

Teenagers are ridiculously great liars and if you’re an adult reading this, don’t you dare exclude yourself.When people talked about smiling behind the pain and how the happiness was just a facade I thought they were just some emocore trying to further enhance their character. Welp, I was wrong. I realized that I too, did that-almost everyone does. I’m not implying that I’m some perfect child, but in all honesty I’m a pretty decent one. I do my work, get pretty good grades in school, I’m a good friend (at least I hope so), and I’m an adequate daughter. Despite following all the rules and living “right” I am not completely happy. I feel as if something is missing inside of me. I reckon it’s that stage in your adolescence where you “try to find yourself”. The searching takes over your brain during the busiest part of your life. You’re trying to figure out what you want to be in the future, where you’ll be in the 5 years while trying to pass Algebra 2 or History.  Sadness is when something’s been taken away from you and you can’t help but act “animately” to fill in what’s been lost. Feeling empty is like feeling sad without all the emotion and acting. We add extra distractions like relationship/friendship “drama” to procrastinate in finding out who we really are. Smiling through the mask is true in the sense that nobody is actually really happy, you may be happy for some time but it is temporary. If you’re lucky you’re one of those people are so confident, they just know who they are but unfortunately most people aren’t prepared for life like that.

Goodness I sound like such a teenager, because I am. But still, gross.